Daily Journal 5:45 am It’s morning, so depleted from reliving these events over and over again. At least last night as I watched myself in bed as young girl I am reminded of my faith as I watch myself prayer every night ….
6:50 am I’ve just been sitting here in a zone but it’s been all good. Just resting in hour of gratitude towards God. Most of the time with the nightmares and the flashbacks I am IN the action of the event but last night it was real, it was definitely a flashback …. I know enough now to know the difference but I was both part of the action but also observing.
Never underestimate the power of faith and this is how I truly prayed, shaking and shivering in fear. Times when my Mother was on a real rampage and I was so absolutely certain that this was definitely the night she was going to do what she continued to threaten me with …. that I was going to die.
The first person I would think of was my brother …. who was going to keep my little brother safe from this vicious monster, my Mother. Now here I am alive at 55 and she is dead, from suicide in 2004. RIP Mom.
I must have been asked over hundred times by now … how did you do that? How did you do so well in school and be consumed with getting home to your little brother? How did you come out of this in tact … go on and work, have a family? How? The answer is easy.